Hallelujha for Duct Tape

Seems like every time I start to do anything, I get sidetreacked and end up doing something entirely different. 

Today, I cleaned house.  At least part of it - 'till I got sidetracked.  Had some crumbs and thought I would take them out to the birds.  Sounds easy - right?  No.  While I was outside, I took a look around the back yard.  Haven't done that since six Sundays before Christmas, or at least a good long while.  Saw a plant that needed water, also noticed enough puppy poop to fertilize half of New York City.  A few leaves needed raking too.

Shoot, I could spend a week out there and still not get it cleaned, but anyway, I went around to the west side of my house, where the doggie door opens.  There, next to the fence lay half of said doggie door.  Not supposed to be there.  It is supposed to be attached to the house.

I picked it up and found that the bottom corners were fine.  Top corners - a different story.  One corner was broken off and the other one was fine, but had a screw sticking in it.  Found the broken off piece and it had a screw in it too.  Huh, those screws must be what held that sucker on the house. 

I bent down and took a look.  Yep, the outside half of the doggie door was missing.  That's where the one I held was spossed to be.  Hum, I can fix it, but I need a screwdriver.  I head inside, pups following every step.  Better get the duct tape and scissors too, that is. unless I wanna make another trip.

Back outside I'm ready to make repairs.  I hold the outside half in place and try to figure out what to do.  Dogs are going in and out, in and out, just like it was a new toy.  Talk about trying to fix something with the help of two year olds.  It's the same thing.

Finally I realize that there is no way on this brown earth I'm going to be able to  screw that sucker back in place, 'cause one corner isn't even there, and I can't make the screw match the hole in the other one.

Out comes the duct tape and scissors.  I start whackin' and slappin' it on.  That half of doggie door is  back in place.  Of coarse, the rest of the house around it is white and it's not, but  that rascal isn't gonna come off until some one really does a lot of pullin'

You know, I learned a long time ago, that if you have a job to do and don't have the stuff to do it with, or can't figure out how to do it, grab the duct tape.  I've temporarly hemed skirts, pants, taped all kinds of junk back together and even taped the bumper back on my car.  Worked too.  Car's silver, tape's silver an' it didn't rattle.  May not have looked great, but I didn't worry, at least not until people started askin' stupid questions.  Then I decided I'd better go ahead and shell out the $1,500.00 for a new one.  That'll sure make you think twice before runnin' over curbs.

Anyway, I'm sure glad to have a good supply of duct tape.  Now, if we can just keep the government from finding out that it works, we'll be OK.  So keep it a secret.  If those Scalawags ever find out that it's good for something I'm in deep manure.