Now, What Was That Address?

     Recently a friend had a garage/barn sale.  Said I'd help but not till 9 AM or so.  Somewhere around 9:30 I headed her way.  Didn't  know the address, but had been there before.  No problem, I knew the way and about where it was in the block.  I could find it, I'm not stupid.
     From the loop, highway around town, I was to turn North onto a street right after a Toot'n Totum.   Now I've never been real good at reading street names and driving at the same time.  Right after that T'nT I slowed down so I could read the signs better.  Dang, I do believe that was the street I wanted.   Not sure it's legal but I made a "U" turn right there in the middle of the highway and went back to the street I'd just passed.
     Nope, wasn't the right one, but it did get me on the right side of the highway.  Drove down that street until there was a cross street I was positive would take me to the one I needed.  Sure 'nough it did, so I drove until I came to the street she lived on.
     At her house I parked in front even though the garage sale was in the barn off the alley, and marched like I had good sense up to her front door.  That's when things fell apart. A person should never march like they have good sense
      Humm, didn't know she had those pots of flowers on her porch.  Wonder if she'll sell me one? Didn't know she had this tiny foyer before you get to her front door either.  'Course I've always gone through her garage.  First door wasn't locked, so I tried to open the next door.  It was locked.  Figured she was in the barn, 'cause that's where the sale was.  Surely someone's in the house though.  Anita, Anita, you in there?  Anybody?.
     BARK, BARK, BARK
     Ups, that doesn't sound like Pearl.  That's a little dog.  I looked around, then stepped from the foyer back onto the porch, and there in the back yard was a little pup I'd never seen, starin' at me and yappin' it's head off.  By then, the two little dogs in the house and one in the back yard, were all makin' so much noise it's a wonder people didn't come from all direction to see what was the matter. I was definitely in the wrong place.
     Oh! Bad word  that starts with an 's'.
     I got back in my lil'ole car fast as I could, turned around and turned back onto the street I'd come on.  All the time hopin' nobody saw me.   At the alley, I drove down to her barn and parked.  Yep, the garage/barn sale was in full swing.  Walked in like nothin' had happened.  "I'm here."
     Don't remember ever walkin' into someone else's house without knockin' and I'm  dang sure not gonna do it again.  At lease not until I lose my mind completely.  Gee Whiz, it's a wonder I didn't get shot.

Yep! I'm a True Blond

      I've been a true-blond all my life until I turned white-headed.  Problem is my brain has not changed. I want to tell you that those things they call blond jokes - they're actually just true-blond stories.  And I gave the man at the FIXIT shop a dozie he can tell for a long time.  I'll bet those men in that shop rolled in the floor laughing after I left, which was just a few minutes ago.
      My story is I've been having a little trouble with my cell phone.  I had charged it and couldn't get the thing to turn back on.  Worked for about four days, charging it, then trying to turn it on and absolutely nothing happened.  I needed it on so that I could use it.  I don't use it a lot, but when I need it I really need it.
      Finally, I broke down and took it  to the FIXIT store out on Coulter.  Started to go to Walmart 'cause it probably would be cheaper, but I was in a hurry and needed to get it fixed - now.
      Walked into the store and told a man behind the counter that I didn't know a lot about cell phones, but that I had charged mine and now I couldn't get it to turn on.
      He took it in his hand and since it't a flip phone, he opened it.  Well when he did, the screen that had been solid black for days, turned white with a little 'something' in the middle, and then, what I call the opening screen came on.
      It's a wonder a person four blocks away couldn't hear my chin hittin' the floor.  That man hadn't done anything but just open it.  I had opened it so many times it's a wonder the hinges were still working.  I couldn't believe. it.
     "It's on" he said.
      I'm sure he thinks I'm the dumbest old woman that ever lived.  I'm not, I swear i am not, close maybe, but there's a whole lot that are stupider than me,I'm just sure of it.
      Anyway, I thanked him very nicely and left.
      My problem now, is the next time I need to charge that apparatus, do I turn it off, or leave it on.  And if so, how do I turn it off.  I don't even know how to leave it on.  Haven't worried about that, it just always seems to be on.  That is, 'till it goes dead.  Then I charge it.  At least that's what's happened before.  Now I'm not sure what to expect.  I wish I had a book for that sucker.
      Shoot, why DID they do away with books with instructions?  Us ol' fogies can still read - at least most of the time.